Healing

I'm doing a happy dance, want to know why?

This morning I headed off to see my Oncologist, dragging my feet but fully accepting of my fate. With summer over, it's time to start treatment on my desmoid tumor. Treatment being a year or so taking a drug called Nexavar, which is a chemotherapy drug. Whilst it is used for liver and lung cancers, there has been success using it at a low dose to kill off desmoids. 

I have resisted starting the drug for the past year since I was first diagnosed. I dramatically changed my diet and adopted many more holistic practices hoping to heal it naturally. But at my last scan in June the Doctor confirmed it had indeed grown and he would recommend me starting treatment. Back then I asked if I could take the summer off and commence in September. He agreed and we also decided I would have a level set scan  after Labor Day and then get on with treatment.

My five year cancerversary & five lessons

Late last week it dawned on me that I'd managed to forget a rather big medical milestone. That being that it was officially five years since my breast cancer diagnosis (in fact a little over by the time I realized).  Cancer and five year statistics often times go together. It's an official milestone for most that signifies a change in statistics for the better. All up, survival rates improve for those that make it past the five-year mark. So it is a cause for celebration.

Inch by inch

I wrote last week about my committment to start beefing up my good wolf.  To really changing my thought patterns.  I have been trying. I really have. But as I suspected this process is not fast or easy. Indeed I feel like my automatic reaction is in the other direction, like I've built a neural path way over time. Which is why it's also going to take time to retrain myself toward my more natural state of being. That state of being called love. Love in the form of kindness, compassion, peace, empathy, generosity, forgiveness and hope. 

Which wolf are you feeding?

Twice recently I've been told the story of the two wolves by yoga teachers. Firstly at Wanderlust in Lake Tahoe and then more recently at Love Yoga this weekend (Montauk - Heather Lilleston). In both instances I was struck by the simplicity of the story. And the amount of truth in it. I can totally identify with the concept. 

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Look inside yourself for buried treasure

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I believe being your happiest self is one of the most important jobs you have in life. I call it a job for a reason. It doesn't come automatically, it requires work. I'm all about finding those behaviours, character traits, beliefs and thoughts that position me for happiness. Sure I get off track at times (guilty of being human) but the key is getting myself back on again. My mantra of embracing the good stuff helps me stay the course. I think adopting something of a mantra yourself is a good way to stay focussed.

Honoring my inner rebel.....or not

Since finding out I need to start chemotherapy drugs in September, I have to confess my inner rebel has been having a field day. I think we all have one of these, but mine happens to be particularly powerful......It's the rebel in me that I have to thank for countless amazing experiences in my life.  But it's also the rebel in me that has led me to feeling sub par on many occassions too.

When my oncologist broke the news that I need to start these drugs he also gave me a warning.  The warning was, whilst I am on them (which may be for a year+) I am not to binge drink or sun tan.  Holy moly, how does this doctor know me so well to understand this is a conversation he definitely needed to have?

Change is truly the only constant

Letting go is hard. There is comfort in the known.  There is a sense of safety. But the truth is, it isn’t real, life is nothing but unpredictable. I’d go as far as to say getting too comfortable is risky.  Two reasons come to mind. Firstly, something major is going to come your way and you wont be ready for it without some practice.  Secondly you just have to color outside the lines sometimes to get the most out of your one precious life!  

One of the most important keys to happiness is learning not just to accept change, but to welcome it.  I first read the book ‘Who Moved my Cheese’ about 10 years ago. I was going through some shifts on the work front at the time. I didn’t realize I had far bigger changes (and challenges) coming my way. I’ve learned its message is just as valuable when facing major life upheaval.

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There are so many diets out there, what should I eat?

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Are you one of those people who has over the years tried almost every diet going?  I totally am. I have tried Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Fit for Life, High carb, low carb, high protein, juicing, the MB 12 Week Challenge and of course the I am only going to eat 1000 calories per day every day for the rest of my life diet.

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