I’m 45. In 2010, at the age of 39 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. At the time I thought I was unlucky — given one in eight women suffer from it in their lifetime. The fact I was young surely meant my nearest and dearest would benefit from my bodies decision to take one for the team. That’s a positive in the shit storm right?
This might be the longest I have ever gone without posting since starting this blog. It has for now become another thing on a huge to do list. I do love writing, so I'm happy that I have carved out a little space (before work) to focus here. Also that I can tick it off the list. Sad but true. I'm sorry!
The thing is, I'm going through a period of rather large change. If you've been following a long on this journey of my life this wont surprise you at all. I'm in somewhat of a transition year. It started with change, and I definitely find that change begets change. It's such cyclical part of life. It's exciting, it's scary and it can be all consuming. Which is what is happening to me.
Given it's a new year there's a high chance you have made some sort of commitment to yourself recently. Maybe it's toward a goal that will require big change. Deciding on the goal, is often times the easy part, maybe it's even a natural progression. But starting.....well that's a different story. As the saying goes 'easier said than done'. You do your research and set yourself up to succeed. It all feels natural, it feels good. Then something changes. As the date draws nearer to the official start (change) date, you panic. Then your panic manifests into doubt, very likely driven by fear.
It's September 2010 and I am feeling pretty damn happy with my lot in life. I am in the throws of a blossoming relationship. My career is at an all time high. I am living in a house I have proudly managed to buy myself in the fairly prestigous (expensive) suburb I grew up in. After discovering a passion for running I've taken up a new challenge and am training for my first triathlon. Those around me are proclaiming, wow you are so happy right now!
I did not know it then, but my life was about to get turned upside down. Within 24 hours I was a breast cancer patient. A year later a 'survivor'. Another 18 months on living on the other side of the world in NYC with my breast cancer sister & bestie Nicole. Less than 2 more and she is devestatingly gone. High highs, low lows and lots of opportunity to completely loose my shit along the way.
How beautiful is this pic? It was taken in Bali 3.5 years ago on one of my best friends wedding trips. I love Bali. I love my friends. This trip was very special, blissful even.
I have the word bliss and specifically the concept of following your bliss on my mind. Which is a good thing, because I was completely side stepped from my path this week then was snapped right back onto it after recieving a message from the universe loud and clear last night.
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